A Sense of Humor Helps Parents Get Through the Teen Years
The Launching Stage Can Test a Mother's Patience
Launching children is never easy. But as this poem (which the author says are "new words to Home on the Range") demonstrate that a sense of humor will get you through that stage a little easier.
Mother's Lament
To my daughter for years
The shampoo brought big tears
She resisted the motherly scrub
'Til she found out it's keen
to the boys if she's clean
Now she washes her mop every day.
Hair, hair in the drain.
Wet towels in lumps on the floor.
Shampoo's always gone.
Shower's roaring at dawn
And the mother is turning quite gray.
Hair, hair in the drain.
Mr. Plumber could never maintain.
Oh the scum and the scuzz
keep reminding uzz
That she's growing in beauty each day.
How often at night
have I stood there afraight
and wondered when Junior'd be home
By dawn's early light
What a God-awful sight
I wish to hell Junior'd leave home.
Go, go adelesce', out of sight of your long-suff'ring Mom.
Go sow your wild oat
in some region remote
And leave me my peace and my calm.
Go, go adolesce'
I'm sure that we all will endure.
Just don't confess
I can't take honestness.
I was kinder to parents, I'm sure.
To my kids the refrig is a place that you store
empty pitchers and dishes galore.
They leave just a taste
Say they don't like to waste,
But it's dishwashing that they deplore.
Lunch, lunch from the fridge
Means eat all the food but a smidge.
I open the door
See they've cleaned out the store
And the girls will soon be here for bridge.
I crave a neat spot that is sacred to me
Where I'd hide my scissors and pen,
Where my comb would be mine
And my Scotch tape confined
to a place where I'd find it again.
Mine, mine, not ours.
My pantyhose right in my drawer.
Makeup on my shelf that belongs to myself
Not borrowed and mine nevermore.
He just needs a lamp to light up his pad
He'll take two they really are free
Says, "That table is junk but I could use this trunk
and this chair fits me perfectly."
Clean, clean out the house.
Remove the excess we won't miss.
When your children secede, your possessions recede
And you're stripped down for elderly bliss.
© Copyright 1980, Beverly Adams
SIDEBAR TO ABOVE ARTICLE:
Every Parent Reacts a Little Differently to Children Leaving the Nest
The following are the opening sentences of a mother who has a bit of a different take on launching her child into college.
"Something very strange has happened at our house. Leftovers can be found, Tupperware lids firmly secured, stacked in the fridge where I left them. Papa Bear can start his car with confidence each morning, knowing exactly where his gas gauge will register. We haven’t noticed the pungent aroma of five-day-old socks, Speedo and towel in weeks.
"Our Man-Cub has left home for college. And I’m miserable."
This piece is written by K. M. Whiting, is titled Empty Nest, and appears on the Silicon Mom website.