Putting Affirmations for Your Preschooler Into Practice

BY ARLENE F. HARDER

The first step in helping your child learn about power and identity is to recognize that the developmental goal of this stage is for him to know that he has a unique identity, that he has the power to make decisions, that there are consequences to his decisions, that there is a difference between reality and fantasy, and that there is much to learn in this wonderful world. The second step is for you to find a way to support him as he begins to develop a strong sense of self.

The links on this page are designed to help you toward that goal. However, since children develop at different rates, you may want to check out the recommended suggestions for Stage 3 and Stage 5 as well. In addition to all twelve strategies for parenting, I also recommend you be certain to read the articles under the category of You Teach Your Children With Everything You Do and Say.

Is Childhood Becoming Oversexed?

Does our sex-saturated culture encourage children to define themselves mainly by how sexy they are, and to see sex as the most important quality in a successful relationship? From the looks of these dolls with their made-up eyes, pouty lips and short skirts, the answer seems to be yes. What do you think? How can you counter the Bratz?

Defiance of Children Two to Four

It's true that the preschooler at this age doesn't throw tantrums quite as dramatically as the two-year-old. But she has her own way of refusing to do what you ask of her. Why? What you can do about it? This article will give you a number of techniques you can try.

Life With Baby Brother

How will your child react when you bring a new baby into the family? How can you help her adjust to the big changes a new baby brings?

How to Help Your Kindergartner Make Friends

Continuing with the idea of temperament, what can you do when you have a shy child who has a hard time making friends and is a bit of a loner? Here are some good suggestions to help with the more introverted, reticent child.

Anger at School, Terror at Home

What happens when your child is good at school but a terror at home? What can you do to help a strong willed child?

Why Boys Must Be Boys

Times have changed, and today the behavior of boys has become a subject of national concern. What do you think should be done, if anything? Here is an article that approachs the topic from a different angle: Online Opinion

Redshirting The term redshirting originally referred to postponing a college athlete's participation in regular season games for one year to give him an extra year of further growth and practice with the team in the hope of improving the player's skills for future seasons. Academic redshirting for young children refers to the practice of postponing entrance into kindergarten of age-eligible children in order to allow extra time for social, emotional, intellectual, or physical growth.

Educational Websites

Since children's abilities and interests vary greatly, some of these sites may be just right for your child and others may not be appropriate. Except for the first one, which is a project of the University of Maryland, and the second one, in which membership gets you access to a banner-ad-free version plus access to the entire website, you will sometimes have to contend with annoying pop-ups and banners, but these sites show you how the Internet can help children have fun while they learn. I welcome your suggestions for other sites appropriate for parents and for children.

International Children’s Digital Library

Enchanted Learning

Kidzone Fun Facts for Kids

School Discovery.com

Surfing the Net with Kids

National Wildlife Federation

Special page for young children on the National Wildlife Federation website

Family Fun

Creative Kids at Home

The Treehouse

Wildlife Pictures Online

Is Your Child Simply a Quirky Kid or Does He Need Medication?

Are you concerned about your child's behavior and development? Do you wonder whether he has a problem that needs attention or simply time to out grow his current difficulties? Here are some resources to help you understand how to best identify whether your child needs help and where to get it:

NOTE: Since the following are in another section, use your back button to return here.

Diagnosing Developmental Delays and Quirky Kids

Antidepressant Medications for Children and Adolescents

Treatment of Children with Mental Disorders

Laying the Groundwork for a Drug-Free Child

It may seem premature to talk about drugs with preschoolers, but the attitudes and habits that they form at this age have an important bearing on the decisions they will make when they are older. At this early age, they are eager to know and memorize rules, and they want your opinion on what's "bad" and what's "good."

Although they are old enough to understand that smoking is bad for them, generally they are not ready to take in complex facts about alcohol, tobacco and other drugs. Nevertheless, this is a good time to practice the decision-making and problem-solving skills that they will need later on.

Here are some ways to help your preschool children make good decisions about what should and should not go into their bodies:

Discuss why children need healthy food. Have your child name several favorite good foods and explain how these foods contribute to health and strength.

Set aside regular times when you can give your son or daughter your full attention. Get on the floor and play with your child; learn about his or her likes and dislikes; let your child know that you love him; say that he or she is too wonderful and unique to take drugs. You'll build strong bonds of trust and affection that will make turning away from drugs easier in the years to come.

Provide guidelines like playing fair, sharing toys and telling the truth so children know what kind of behavior you expect from them.

Encourage your child to follow instructions and to ask questions if he does not understand the instructions.

When your child becomes frustrated at play, use the opportunity to strengthen problem-solving skills. For example, if a tower of blocks keeps collapsing, work together to find possible solutions. Turning a bad situation into a success reinforces a child's self-confidence.

Whenever possible, let your child choose what to wear. Even if the clothes don't quite match, you are reinforcing your child's ability to make decisions.

Point out poisonous and harmful substances commonly found in homes, such as bleach, kitchen cleanser and furniture polish, and read the products' warning labels out loud. Explain to your children that not all "bad" drugs have warnings on them, so they should only eat or smell food or a prescribed medicine that you, a grandparent or a caregiver provides them.

Explain that prescription medications are drugs that can help the person for whom they are meant but that can harm anyone else, especially children, who must stay away from them unless they are prescribed properly for them.

The suggestions above are from "Helping Your Child Grow Up Drug and Alcohol Free," a publication by the United States Department of Education.