Affirmations to Help Your Child Learn About THINKING and FEELING
BY ARLENE F. HARDER, MA, MFT
"Raising kids is part joy and part guerilla warfare."
—Ed Asner
In this developmental stage the task is for children to think for themselves, to be assertive, and to begin to separate from their parents. Although the young children continue to be dependent when needed, nevertheless the "terrible two's" are appropriately named as they discover their ability to express themselves forcefully and parents need to provide a great deal of information, how-to's, and reasons.
The battle of wills that develops between parents and their young children is as old as humankind itself. The reason is simply that sometime, around the second birthday, a toddler makes an interesting discovery. She notices she has a will. Unfortunately, her will is not always in line with yours and thus, wanting to exercise this new facet of her personality, she will become defiant and resist at every opportunity.
If you are fortunate to have a child who comes with an easier, more calm temperament, congratulations. But even the most gentle of children can find a way to say "no, I won't move because I'm having too much fun putting these blocks together"—just when you need them to say "yes, I'd be glad to stop playing right this moment and go with you to a boring store because I can see you need to get food for dinner."
What's a parent to do, or a grandparent or other caregiver? You don't want to squelch her budding sense of self, but on the other hand, you don't want to create a spoiled child whose sense of entitlement to always have her way will eventually develops problems for her, and you, in the future. That's why these are appropriate affirmations for this age.
Affirmations needed by all babies from eighteen months to three years of age—and by everyone else as well:
 We're glad when you think for yourself.
You can learn to understand your feelings.
It's okay to be angry and frustrated, but we won't let you hurt yourself or others.
We don't mind if you say "no." You can test limits as much as you need to.
We enjoy your creativity.
You can discover for yourself what you need.
How can you help your child learn the skills of thinking and feeling to get the most out of life? See Putting Into Practice the Affirmations for Your Toddler.
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