Building a Strong and Supportive Family
"Family life is full of major and minor crises—the ups and downs of health, success and failure in career, marriage, and divorce—and all kinds of characters. It is tied to places and events and histories. With all of these felt details, life etches itself into memory and personality. It's difficult to imagine anything more nourishing to the soul."
—Thomas Moore
At one time, not so many years ago, the "normal" family unit was comprised of a father, a mother, and their children. Oh, there might be an adopted child or two and there might be a step-parent because the first spouse had died. But a family headed by a single parent, especially one in which the parent deliberately chose not to marry and may have even been inseminated by sperm from an unknown donor, was unknown, or at least unacknowledged as a "family."
Today, however, you can't make any assumptions of what a family means. But one thing you can be sure of: the children in a "family," just about any way you define it, need parents, custodians, care-givers, relatives, that is, adults, who act as the vehicles through which the child learns what it means to be human, what it means to relate to one another. As James Baldwin wrote:
"For nothing is fixed, forever and forever and forever, it is not fixed; the earth is always shifting, the light is always changing, the sea does not cease to grind down rock. Generations do not cease to be born, and we are responsible to them because we are the only witnesses they have. The sea rises, the light fails, lovers cling to each other, and children cling to us. The moment we cease to hold each other, the sea engulfs us and the light goes out."
Yes, children cling to us and we must not cease holding onto each other, for as I write in A Philosophy of Parenting Gained From Long Experience, "it is within the nuclear family [however that unit may be defined] that we practice communication and connection and learn to become a member of the global human family."
You will notice that I have included in this section a number of articles focusing on how you can strengthen the relationship between you and your partner for the sake of the whole family. As the heading says, parenting is easier when the parents get along well.
Good luck on creating a strong, supportive, loving family for your children. The task is daunting and often frustrating, but it is also exciting and can ultimately be rewarding beyond all expectation. It is clear that children thrive in supportive families.
SIDEBAR TO ABOVE ARTICLE:
INDEX
Stages of the family life cycle
How family rules profoundly affect our lives
How family rituals and customs reinforce family rules
Why are children in the same family so different from one another?
Prioritizing needs in a blended family
Does it help families to require marriage of parents
Developing a successful joint custody arrangement
Parent-child reunification and reintegration
Weight is a family affair: Seven ways to treat and prevent childhood weight problems
Resources
TotalLifeSuccess.com is a leading online success community, with inspirational quotes, goal setting information and a cutting-edge goal setting forum! You'll find many articles on building relationships within and outside the family.
Discover the healing power of family, friends and lovers and how to build strong relationships on Support4Change.